Monday, April 5, 2010

Laying some ground rules

(Sorry for my lack of posting lately.  Things have been a bit crazy lately with work/wedding planning/life.  What I need to remember is that blogging actually helps relieve the stress, rather than adds to it.)

On Thursday evening, I was happily waiting for the street car on St. Charles with P and his friends that had just arrived for his bachelor party.  (Don't worry, I was about to peace out to my friends house for the weekend so they could have a man-fest, but I spend the first night with them, which proved to be an amazing time.)  While we were waiting, I noticed I had a voicemail from my mom.  Now, if you've been reading this blog, you know that my relationship with my mom is an interesting one, and she really doesn't call me that often.  I was hoping that she was calling me to let me know how amazing our wedding invites were (that she should have receieved over a week ago), so I happily called her back.  Instead I received some serious drama on the other end when she picked up.  She tried to pull me in, once again, to the drama surrounding my brother and his never-ending divorce with my former MOH and very dear friend.  She basically accused me of some ridiculousness, and instead of fighting with her, I decided to try a new route.

I played the bride card.  That's right folks.  I told her that I did not want to hear about my brother and his drama, her drama (she is apparently about to get her 4th divorce, but she has been saying this every few months for the last 4 years), or anything else negative UNTIL AFTER THE WEDDING.  If she wants to call me and talk flowers, programs, dresses, unicorns, and fairies, that's fine.  But if she wants to talk about family drama, she can turn elsewhere.  I said this all very calmly and sweetly (with an underlying tone of "if you don't like it, you can shove it") and then I ended the conversation. 

It was so liberating.  As I've grown older and wiser I've realized that sometimes it's OK to be selfish.  And this is one of those times. 

Has anyone else played the bride card to put an end to some nonsense?  Did you feel as liberated as I did/do?


  1. When i try that card, my sisters call me bridezilla. But it looks like it is working for you. Goooooooooo you.

  2. It's not so much being selfish, but about boundaries and learning to stand up for yourself.
    Perhaps given everything that's on your mind, you couldn't deal with someone else's messiness, so the bride card works. I don't think I've done it yet, but I'm sure my mother and sister would disagree.
    Good for you!


I love comments. Please share your thoughts!