Saturday, November 14, 2009

On anxiety, depression, and the stress of planning a wedding

Recently one of my favorite wedding bloggers wrote an extremely honest post about putting her wedding plans on hold while she addresses her struggle with depression.  Her candidness about an issue many of us struggle with really struck a chord with me.
Right after we got engaged, something really traumatic happened in my life that completely affected me.  (I may blog about it at some point, because it does have a large impact on our wedding.)  I tried to ignore the way I was feeling and just push forward with everything I needed to get done.  Fast forward three weeks and I was in the New Orleans airport sobbing and having trouble breathing through my first full-blown panic attack.
I decided to see someone about my anxiety and put our wedding planning on hold for a bit.  P was so wonderful through it all, and never pressured me to start talking about our wedding.  I spent the summer taking care of myself, enjoying my last few weeks with my friends in Madison, and preparing for our move.  When I started wedding planning again after we were settled in New Orleans, it was because I felt excited and ready.
I guess I'm writing this to say if you are struggling with anxiety or depression, just be open and honest with your partner about it.  If wedding planning is adding to or causing your struggle, don't be afraid to put it on hold for a bit.  Who cares what people will say?  I can bet that if they care about you, they will support you and not give a damn about whether or not you have picked your color palette yet.

1 comment:

  1. girl, i am right there with you. my partner and i both suffer from anxiety - and in addition to his anxiety, he also has ADHD. but neither of us even knew we had these disorders until we 24 years old. Which is crazy if you think about it. we spent our entire lives living with these problems we never understood why we had in the first place. it affected everything - our homelife, our relationship, work, wedding planning, you name it. it wasn't until we started talking about our problems openly with each other, that we decided to go get help, see someone, and get medicated. and ever since then, we've been getting stronger and stronger. and we now KNOW the in's and out's of each other's mental stability. so we can be there for each other in a very *specific* way, as opposed to just being there.

    i'm glad you guys can be open about this, because seriously, anxiety and depression can slowly deteriorate a partnership if not treated, or if the issue isn't out in the open. so good for you guys for dealing with it together. you will be stronger for it. this i know. it's good marriage practice :)


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