Monday, February 22, 2010

On finding help when you need it

You know how the wedding world is filled with brides complaining about over-involved mothers, awful future mother-in-laws, pushy sisters, and other overbearing wedding helpers?  Yeah, well, I don't have that problem.
I have the opposite problem.  I don't have any help.  And it's really frustrating.  Now, this isn't a pity party.  Let me explain.  Most of the time, I really enjoy planning this shindig on my own.  This wedding is going to be, well, a wedding of our own.  It's really going to reflect my style, what we value as a couple, and what we want on our wedding day.  Which is what a lot of brides with mom-zilla's could only dream of.
The problem is, every once in a while, I really wish I had some help.  My mom and I have an interesting relationship.  I love her fiercely, and she loves me, but she is rather emotionally immature, and is not at a point in her life where she can really focus on other people.  (Case in point, when I call her for advice, she vents about how she is thinking of getting a divorce from her now 4th husband, complains about my brother, complains about her job, wanting to lose weight, etc.)  She will be there (hopefully), she is making our table numbers (cross your fingers), and I love her.  But I can't rely on her, 27 years of being her daughter has taught me that.
My mother in law?  Well, she is a wonderful woman.  But she is just not really interested in this stuff.  She has a thirteen year old daughter (P's half sister), and she is pretty busy with her own stuff.  When I ask her questions via email, she sends me one word responses. 
So when I was having a minor freak out about what time to start the ceremony, and I had to decide this week? I had no idea who to turn to. 
Anyone else in a similar situation?  Where did you go for help?

*P is very zen about wedding planning.  And by zen, I mean he says "everything will work out".  He says this with only planning what he is in charge of (man attire, playlist, man gifts).  Oy.


  1. Damn. you should have help. I feel horrible for whining now about my pushy sisters. Anyhow, sometimes it helps just to ask someone for their opinion. You can always email me if you need to


  2. @ Cupcake Wedding: You are too sweet. I just may take you up on your offer. And don't feel horrible. I would probably whine if I had pushy sisters too.

  3. :-/ Poor you. It's easy (so easy!) to get really caught up in the stress of it all, particularly when you feel like you have no guidance or - more importantly - no one to rely on for guidance on these things.
    Perhaps try getting the boy more involved? If you explain to him about how you're feeling, and ask him to (if you want, of course) help you out by shouldering the burden of some of the worry, it might help.
    Good luck, regardless.


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