I read this post on a practical wedding this morning and I could not stop thinking about it. Because that is where we are at right now. We are a little over two months out, and things are stressful.
I've found myself picking fights with P over stupid stuff about wedding planning. (He does not read this, if he did, he would be rejoicing right now at that admission.) Seriously. The problem is, he doesn't care about the details. And as I mentioned before, I don't really have anyone helping me out with anything.
So what to do? Most of the time, I really enjoy planning, I'm an organizer by nature and I love coming up with a vision. But now we are getting down to the nitty gritty details, and that is not my strength. We are having our wedding in the city we used to live, I don't have a lot of people there I can delegate things to. One of my bridesmaids lives there, but I am afraid to give her too much.
I don't want this to become a time that I look back at and all I remember is stress. I want this to be about us, about our love, about getting ready for our marraige. But instead I feel like I have so much anxiety about what has to get done and how it will get there. I just don't want to get lost in it.
Has anyone else been here? What did you do to pull yourself out of it?
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I was here and I get out of this mood by focusing on my priorities.
ReplyDeleteIf the nitty gritty details aren't your strength, ask yourself do I want them? Do I need them? If your answer is no, ignore it and move on.
As for your friend, don't feel bad about asking her for help. If she says yes, then she wants to do it. She could say no. You aren't forcing her. She is simply being a good friend. One day, you can return the favor.
I'm not here yet, but I agree that this is the point where you can start tossing and get down to what's really important. As more help steps up to the plate, you can add things back in.
ReplyDeleteLists. Make lists of discrete little tasks that need to be done but you can't handle. Aks for help - small things don't feel like an imposition and your partner will probably manage them more easily than "make a timeline" or "make table numbers." Send out an email to friends to see if they can help with those mini tasks too. People, if they can, will often step up to the plate because they care about you and get it. They won't know to unless you ask and make the request reasonable.
You can do it. This too shall pass. Write out the rest of the legitimate stress here.
I blogged. I blogged the heck out of every pre wedding feeling, thought, idea. Comments from fellow brides kept me sane. Is there anything we can all help with?
ReplyDeleteYou are all awesome. Thank you for listening, offering advice, and being all around amazing.
ReplyDelete@Mrs. T: you are right, comments totally help! So keep commenting!
I think one of my next posts is going to be a big 'ole list, that might make me feel better...
We are 48ish days away, and I have all this internal little stress balls. But no fights- things seem to be moving along well. That said, there is a ton left to do and it stresses me out to the point of inaction and panic, but no screaming fights, yelling, etc. Which is nice.
ReplyDeleteThough I suppose my response to freeze and hide in the face of stress isn't going to get things done.