New Blog

I officially started a new blog, with some exciting news!  Come join me over at LindsFM.

What didn't matter, and finding my "wedding zen"

In the months leading up to our wedding, I definitely was stressed about the details.  Despite my stress, I somehow managed to find my "wedding zen" a few days before the wedding.  Once we got to Madison, I didn't want to work on any more wedding tasks.  I wanted to drink Wisconsin beer and sit outside with my friends, I wanted to go to my favorite restaurants in Madison that I missed, I wanted to stay up late sitting in our best man's living room, laughing and talking about nothing and everything.  And that's what I did.  I even went to see Sex and The City 2 with all of my friends who were in town, the day before the wedding.  I had 8 missed calls after the movie was over.  I looked at them, and then turned off my phone.  I'm a bad ass.

Here is what didn't matter:

-I didn't really like our flowers.  My bouquet had purple in it, and I really can't stand purple, especially when it's mixed with pink.  But I LOVED the last minute flowers Tami (the restaurant owner) put together for the outside tables.  So I focused on those.
-My mom was super angry about anything and everything, but disguising it in the most disgustingly passive-aggressive way.  I showered her with kindness and moved on.
-Our hand-fasting ceremony didn't go exactly as planned, because we didn't rehearse it with the ribbons (which we forgot to bring to the rehearsal, probably because I was at SATC2 about an hour before).  It was still incredibly moving and special.
-Our iPod play-list was on shuffle, so immediately after our first dance, "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" came on.  Not the transition we were looking for, but everyone busted a move, and we modified the playlist accordingly.
-The programs didn't get passed out until the last minute.  My awesome preggo bridesmaid (and pretty much the go-to person for anything ceremony related) realized that the groomsmen forgot to pass them out, and busted out the programs right before we began our procession.  
-I left the vintage handkerchiefs I painstakingly collected for months in New Orleans.  Now I have a cool collection that I have no idea what to do with.

You will forget some of the details you worked so hard on.  People won't behave the way you want them.  Not every vendor is going to perfectly execute your vision.  Your wedding will not be perfect.

But when you walk down that aisle and see your future partner waiting with an expression on their face like this:

that is all you will care about.  I promise.

*all photos by the incredibly talented Kara Layne.  The first is of the outside of the restaurant where our reception was held, along with those awesome flowers from the farmers market that Tami put together at the last minute.

Our (surprisingly successful) dancing playlist

I mentioned before that we had an iPod wedding.  Putting together the cocktail and dinner playlist was amazing, and pretty much a piece of cake.  P is a HUGE music snob, he's that guy that knows about a band before anyone else does.  (This was actually mentioned during a toast at our wedding, and everyone cracked up.)  We had a great time putting together 5+ hours of music that we've come to love over the last 6 years we've been together.

And the dancing playlist?  The future hubs (at that time) wanted NOTHING to do with it.  While I've definitely gotten into the music that he likes, I am not above rocking out to mainstream pop music.  At the same time, I DESPISE cheesy wedding music.  Putting together the dancing playlist was on my to-do list from the beginning, and I seriously stressed about it.  Finally, I enlisted the help of some friends, relied heavily on advice from fellow bloggers, and bit the bullet.  I was so nervous that no one would dance, but it actually was a huge success.

All I wanted when I was planning my playlist was examples from "cool" weddings.   So I hope this helps some of you!


New Partner                         the frames (this was our first dance song)
First Day of My Life Bright Eyes
Blister In the Sun         Violent Femmes *
Hey Ya!                     OutKast
Give it 2 Me                 Madonna
P.Y.T.                        Michael Jackson
Superstition                         Stevie Wonder
These Arms of Mine         Otis Redding
Let's Stay Together         Al Green
Gold Digger                     Kanye West
Single Ladies                    Beyoncé             *
Bust a Move                         Young MC   
Billie Jean                         Michael Jackson *
Carry Out                          Timbaland (featuring J.T.)           *
Just Dance                 Lady GaGa & Colby O'Donis      *
That's Where It's At         Sam Cooke
Marry Song                 Band Of Horses
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough Michael Jackson
Poison                         Bell Biv DeVoe                      *
Ignition (Remix)         R. Kelly                                      *
Kiss                                 Prince & The Revolution
Promiscuous                         Nelly Furtado
Sexy Chick (feat. Akon) David Guetta
Cupid Shuffle            Cupid                                                     *
January Wedding         The Avett Brothers
Sea Of Love                     Cat Power
(When You Gonna) Give It Up to Me Keyshia Cole & Sean Paul      *
Tik Tok                         Ke$ha                                                      *
Track 16                 Neal's mashups Volume 3
Forever                                 Chris Brown                               *
Sussudio                                 Phil Collins                               *
You Make My Dreams         Hall & Oates                                               *     
Juicy                         The Notorious B.I.G.
Galang                         M.I.A.
OMG (feat. will.i.am) Usher                                                       *


*these were the songs that had people in a dancing frenzy.  Don't ask about Sussudio.  You would have to know our friends.

It happened...plus a sneak peek from our wedding

And it was wonderful.  Of course there were things that went wrong, but I didn't care.  It was an amazing experience, and I was just so full of joy and gratitude all day long.  I will be doing recaps as soon as I am not exhausted and swamped with work, but for now check out our photographer's sneak peek on her blog.

http://www.karalayneblog.com/journal/2010/6/1/lindsey-patrick.html

Ooh, and if you comment on our photographer's blog post, you will help us win some free prints!  (50 comments gets us an 8X10, two 5X7s, and an 11X14.  So help a sister out...)

This is why we plan weddings...

                                                                                  
From Jose Villa

Dumping my first vendor

Breaking up is hard to do y'all.  Seriously.

I am very picky when it comes to my hair.  And I'm not just your average picky girl.  I grew up in a salon.  My mom was a nail technician, and also did make-up and facials, and I would go there after school when she didn't have a baby-sitter for me.  When I was too old for a baby sitter, I became the salon mascot of sorts.  I swept hair, folded towels, folded foils, cleaned out sinks, ran errands, etc.  The stylists tipped me out, and I had it made.  I never once paid for hair cut/style/color/products, and the girls experimented with my crazy thick hair when they were bored.

I had an amazing guy in Madison who did my hair.  At this ridiculously amazing, sort of punk-rock salon that I adored.  (here is their website if you want to check it out:  http://www.chachahair.com/)
Unfortunately, Jason doesn't really do up-dos.  He sort of hates them.  So I felt bad asking him to do mine for the wedding.  I asked a friend of a friend, and over the holidays I had my trial.  I went to her armed with these inspiration pictures.

Source

I have no idea where this one is from, let me know if you do.

What she gave me was a frizzy, lopsided mess. 

She kept saying things like "on the day of, I will smooth it out, on the day of, I will curl it a little".  What I couldn't figure out, is why she was charging me for a trial, yet not doing the things she would do on the day of? 

I think my face here pretty much says it all.  I was not impressed.  So I emailed/pleaded with Jason, and he basically laughed at me for not asking him sooner.  Then I broke up with my  stylist over an email.  Some things just have to be done.

Have you had to break up with any vendors?

*iPhone photography of the hair trial mess by the lovely bridesmaid Vero, who I think may have been laughing at me a little bit.  You should see the pics from 2 hours later when the hair was completely falling out.  Not pretty.

Laying some ground rules

(Sorry for my lack of posting lately.  Things have been a bit crazy lately with work/wedding planning/life.  What I need to remember is that blogging actually helps relieve the stress, rather than adds to it.)

On Thursday evening, I was happily waiting for the street car on St. Charles with P and his friends that had just arrived for his bachelor party.  (Don't worry, I was about to peace out to my friends house for the weekend so they could have a man-fest, but I spend the first night with them, which proved to be an amazing time.)  While we were waiting, I noticed I had a voicemail from my mom.  Now, if you've been reading this blog, you know that my relationship with my mom is an interesting one, and she really doesn't call me that often.  I was hoping that she was calling me to let me know how amazing our wedding invites were (that she should have receieved over a week ago), so I happily called her back.  Instead I received some serious drama on the other end when she picked up.  She tried to pull me in, once again, to the drama surrounding my brother and his never-ending divorce with my former MOH and very dear friend.  She basically accused me of some ridiculousness, and instead of fighting with her, I decided to try a new route.

I played the bride card.  That's right folks.  I told her that I did not want to hear about my brother and his drama, her drama (she is apparently about to get her 4th divorce, but she has been saying this every few months for the last 4 years), or anything else negative UNTIL AFTER THE WEDDING.  If she wants to call me and talk flowers, programs, dresses, unicorns, and fairies, that's fine.  But if she wants to talk about family drama, she can turn elsewhere.  I said this all very calmly and sweetly (with an underlying tone of "if you don't like it, you can shove it") and then I ended the conversation. 

It was so liberating.  As I've grown older and wiser I've realized that sometimes it's OK to be selfish.  And this is one of those times. 

Has anyone else played the bride card to put an end to some nonsense?  Did you feel as liberated as I did/do?