Laying some ground rules

(Sorry for my lack of posting lately.  Things have been a bit crazy lately with work/wedding planning/life.  What I need to remember is that blogging actually helps relieve the stress, rather than adds to it.)

On Thursday evening, I was happily waiting for the street car on St. Charles with P and his friends that had just arrived for his bachelor party.  (Don't worry, I was about to peace out to my friends house for the weekend so they could have a man-fest, but I spend the first night with them, which proved to be an amazing time.)  While we were waiting, I noticed I had a voicemail from my mom.  Now, if you've been reading this blog, you know that my relationship with my mom is an interesting one, and she really doesn't call me that often.  I was hoping that she was calling me to let me know how amazing our wedding invites were (that she should have receieved over a week ago), so I happily called her back.  Instead I received some serious drama on the other end when she picked up.  She tried to pull me in, once again, to the drama surrounding my brother and his never-ending divorce with my former MOH and very dear friend.  She basically accused me of some ridiculousness, and instead of fighting with her, I decided to try a new route.

I played the bride card.  That's right folks.  I told her that I did not want to hear about my brother and his drama, her drama (she is apparently about to get her 4th divorce, but she has been saying this every few months for the last 4 years), or anything else negative UNTIL AFTER THE WEDDING.  If she wants to call me and talk flowers, programs, dresses, unicorns, and fairies, that's fine.  But if she wants to talk about family drama, she can turn elsewhere.  I said this all very calmly and sweetly (with an underlying tone of "if you don't like it, you can shove it") and then I ended the conversation. 

It was so liberating.  As I've grown older and wiser I've realized that sometimes it's OK to be selfish.  And this is one of those times. 

Has anyone else played the bride card to put an end to some nonsense?  Did you feel as liberated as I did/do?

To look more feminine....

When I started this whole wedding planning journey, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into.  But a lot of things have surprised me along the way.  One of the biggest surprises is the very blunt expectation that all brides must be trying to achieve the best body possible for their wedding day.

Now don't misinterpret me here.  I think it is AWESOME to be in great shape, and your wedding day can be a great "get healthy" goal date.  I know I want to feel bad-ass in my dress, and thus have begun doing arm weights for the first time in my life.  (I want GUNS!  I know I'm not going to get Madonna arms, but I at least want some definition.) 

What I think is messed up is the expectation that you must be trying to lose weight.  I had two different bridal shop people ask me how much weight I was planning to lose.  Say what?  I wear a size 4, and while I have some trouble areas (love handles, anyone?), I don't think I need to lose weight.  And even if I did?  Its so inappropriate for this random person to assume that I want to.  I can only imagine what they say to girls who are even a little overweight.  It makes me cringe.

The kicker was when I went to my seamstress and she told me I either needed to lose weight or get some Spanx if I wanted to look "more feminine" in my dress.  Seriously?  So feminine means without curves?  Not last time I checked.  (I was planning on getting some Spanx anyway, but now I'm just annoyed.) 

Anyone else had crazy run-ins like this?  Did you tell them off?  (I wish I had.  I was just so shocked I was rendered speechless.  Next time I go to my seamstress I'm bringing back-up and having a couple drinks before hand.)

Cermony site catastrophe!

So remember those beautiful Save the Dates I just posted?  Yeah, well, we can't officially order them until NOVEMBER 10th.  Now, I know that puts us within the 6 month mark, which is fine, but it is a bit annoying that we will not have an official date until then.  I've just been operating like we have secured our date, but in reality we have not.
Why?  Our ceremony space.  Here is the beautiful space that is giving us SO MUCH trouble:

Here is the inside, which is equally beautiful and unique:

This beautiful building was built in 1863 and is the fourth oldest surviving synagogue in the country.  It now does not have any religious affilitation, and is owned by the City of Madison Parks Division.  It is really open and airy in the inside, and it seats around 90 people.  Did I mention it is right on the lake? 

The problem is that the City of Madison Parks usually takes reservations for the following year on Oct. 1st. for all of their popular park sites. This was a bit risky for us, but we decided it was worth it.  Our reception spot will work with us if we need to change the date, so I wasn't too worried.  And really if you get there super early on October 1st (and I was bribing one of my best friends with fistfuls of cash to do this for me) you pretty much get your date.

But today is October 23rd, and we still do not have our space reserved.  The City of Madison Parks decided to change their policy, oh, about two days before October 1st.  This year they are going to do a lottery system on November 10th.  Doesn't matter what time you get there, they will be drawing numbers.  

So now we have a back up park location, because it is a little too late to change our date now.  Worst case scenario, two people before us pick both our first choice on our date and our back-up location on our date.  Then we will have to move our wedding to the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.  Which we will work with.

I know that much worse things can happen, but this has been incredibly frustrating!  Anyone else having crazy things happen with their vendors?