Honoring loved ones at your wedding

So, in light of recent events, P and I are thinking about how to honor his uncle at our wedding, while still making it a joyous, celebratory occasion.  One thing that we are doing FOR SURE is toasting with a shot of drambuie at the reception.  It was something we did in his honor after the funeral, since it was his favorite drink.   While we were taking our shots we looked at each other and knew we would be doing the same thing for Uncle Ken at our wedding.
The one thing I am struggling with is how to honor him at the ceremony.  Do we have our officiant say something?  If so, what?
Also, I've heard of the idea of leaving a chair empty w/a flower on it, but I'm worried that would just make it more difficult on his aunt.

I'm open to ideas, throw 'em at me.

a traditionally-untraditional processional

Hi everyone!  Thanks for being patient with my lack of blogging.  Things have been really difficult for P and I the last week or so.  This last weekend was spent grieving with his family and celebrating his uncle's life.  Honestly, while it was difficult, it was a beautiful experience.  His family really has become my family, and being there was so hard, but it was what we both needed.

So, I've been thinking a lot about the wedding processional, or what I want to walk down the aisle to.  What you may have noticed about me/us, is that I tend to embrace certain traditions, easily dismiss others, and can't make up my mind on a few (changing my name anyone?).  Anyways, we decided a while ago that we are going to have a simple guitar and fiddle duo play our ceremony.  It speaks to our southernness, we love it, and they will be joining the rest of their bluegrass band immediately following the ceremony for some serious revelry. 
I mentioned to the fiddle player (who I feel so connected to already, as she is in grad school for education, just like we were last year), that it would be so cool if they could do a blue-grassy, simple version of Canon in D.  She sent me this link, explaining that the first minute is more what they would sound like, since they wouldn't be rocking out quite as much as these guys (unless I feel like running down the aisle).  So imagine it slowed down a bit, and enjoy.
I love it.  Check it out:


Umm, amazing.  They rock.

Cermony site catastrophe!

So remember those beautiful Save the Dates I just posted?  Yeah, well, we can't officially order them until NOVEMBER 10th.  Now, I know that puts us within the 6 month mark, which is fine, but it is a bit annoying that we will not have an official date until then.  I've just been operating like we have secured our date, but in reality we have not.
Why?  Our ceremony space.  Here is the beautiful space that is giving us SO MUCH trouble:

Here is the inside, which is equally beautiful and unique:

This beautiful building was built in 1863 and is the fourth oldest surviving synagogue in the country.  It now does not have any religious affilitation, and is owned by the City of Madison Parks Division.  It is really open and airy in the inside, and it seats around 90 people.  Did I mention it is right on the lake? 

The problem is that the City of Madison Parks usually takes reservations for the following year on Oct. 1st. for all of their popular park sites. This was a bit risky for us, but we decided it was worth it.  Our reception spot will work with us if we need to change the date, so I wasn't too worried.  And really if you get there super early on October 1st (and I was bribing one of my best friends with fistfuls of cash to do this for me) you pretty much get your date.

But today is October 23rd, and we still do not have our space reserved.  The City of Madison Parks decided to change their policy, oh, about two days before October 1st.  This year they are going to do a lottery system on November 10th.  Doesn't matter what time you get there, they will be drawing numbers.  

So now we have a back up park location, because it is a little too late to change our date now.  Worst case scenario, two people before us pick both our first choice on our date and our back-up location on our date.  Then we will have to move our wedding to the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.  Which we will work with.

I know that much worse things can happen, but this has been incredibly frustrating!  Anyone else having crazy things happen with their vendors?

The perfect ringbearer

I love the idea of having our dog as our ringbearer.  We rescued and raised him together.  (But please don't feel bad for him, he was a puppy who was bottle-fed because his mother was rescued and was too weak to feed him!)  He has about a thousand nicknames (Tobes, Puppers, Toblerone, Tobias, Toby McGuire, Little Man, etc.) and we both love him a little more than we'd like to admit.

I mean come on, look at that face:

He is the cute brown one smiling at the camera, not the black blur of our friend's dog he was playing with.

Unfortunately, we are going to be flying back to Wisconsin for our wedding and we really don't want to fly him with us.  For one, it is pretty expensive and would be a hassle we don't need.  The second reason is we think he may have a little puppy breakdown in the back of the plane since he is way too big to be a fashionable carry-on.  He just gets so nervous, I really don't think he could handle it.
So, I think we may just carry eachother's rings, instead of having a ringbearer.  I like this idea and the significance of it, but I am slightly freaked out that P would forget mine, or I wouldn't know how to carry his (it's not like I could wear it on my finger).
Ideas and advice are welcome!

Giving myself away

One of the most difficult decisions I had to make for our wedding was what to do about the whole "giving away the bride" thing.  I have never been close with my father since my parents's divorce when I was 9.  I see him occasionally, less than once a year since I graduated from college, and he barely knows anything about me as a person.  He has met P once, and we've been together for 5 years. 
Having him give me away would be just for show and tradition.  It would feel entirely false to me, and would not reflect what we want our ceremony to be.  So I've decided to walk down the aisle alone. 
When I told my father, I decided to spin it as more of an "I'm a independent woman" thing, and less of a "you have no right giving me away" thing.  Unfortunately (and not surprisingly), he reacted very negatively and has since told us that he will not be attending our wedding and does not wish to have me in his life anymore. 

While it was difficult to hear that from him, I know now, more than ever, that I made the right decision.  Our wedding day is going to be about us and the people we love and care for most.  We are not going to do anything that doesn't feel right to us or reflect us as a couple. 

In a gesture that made both me and P cry, one of P's uncles offered to walk me down the aisle.  We are both close to him, and because he has been ill for quite some time, he is one of the reasons we decided on a Wisconsin wedding.  I thanked him profusely through my tears, but let him know that I am happy with the idea of giving myself away!

And it's not going to be as lonely as it sounds!  I am a very independent lady, and the idea of walking confidently towards my future husband and our life together thrills me.  It will be completely special for both of us.

Cocktails by the lake

One of the reasons I love our ceremony site is that it is located right on a lake.


Perfect spot for pictures, no?

P and I really do not want a large space of time in between the ceremony and reception. We both dislike the idea of leaving our guests to take pictures, while they are off at our reception celebrating. So we are bringing the cocktail hour to the ceremony! Weather permitting, everyone will go outside and sip on lemonade, champagne, or a signature cocktail (yet to be determined), while we take pictures right outside! Guests can take pictures on the lake as well, or just mingle and listen to bluegrass while we capture the moments!


There is tons of inspiration for the laid-back cocktail hour vibe we are going for. I used my favorite new inspiration board builder to create this:

Now wouldn't that be the perfect way to transition from our ceremony to our reception? And just wait until you hear how we are getting to our reception...

Do you have a cocktail hour vision?

A Bluegrass Ceremony

One of the ways we are making our ceremony reflect us as a couple is by having a bluegrass band play! P is not a fan of string quartets, and as much as I love the image of a bride walking down to Canon in D, I love the idea of something more personal.

Bluegrass is a perfect choice for us because we first met and fell in love in North Carolina, and we used to listen to bluegrass music all the time when we lived there! Some of my best memories of North Carolina involve long Sunday drives where we would listen to the local NPR station play bluegrass. P lived in a big ole farmhouse then, and we used to have big bonfire parties where a couple of his friends would play the banjo and guitar. Ahhh, memories...

So far, the plan is to have the bluegrass band play all during the ceremony (while people are being seated, the processional, and the recessional) and also during the cocktail hour directly following the ceremony. If the weather is beautiful, that means they will be playing right on the lake, while we take pictures and our guests minge. Perfect.

Now I just need ideas for what songs they are going to play. Please let me know if you have any suggestions!